Expensive Abby
Life-style
By Expensive Abby
Printed
March 24, 2024, 3:00 a.m. ET
Expensive Abby counsels a lady who thinks she’s too sizzling for her boyfriend.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been seeing a person for a few 12 months. For probably the most half, we get alongside nice. We spend plenty of time collectively, and he professes his love for me. His intentions are to be collectively ceaselessly, though there has not been a proposal. I believe I might proceed this relationship indefinitely.
There’s only one factor: I’m not bodily interested in him. He’s presentable and well-groomed, however it might’t compensate for the truth that he’s homely. I’m, to place it plainly, a wonderful girl. I’ve all the time dated “in my league.”
I’m making an attempt onerous to not be shallow, however this bothers me drastically. Typically I’m simply disgusted. I do know we’ll each age, however till then, he’ll nonetheless be ugly. I do have emotions for him, so ought to I attempt more durable to miss his defects? — TORN ABOUT HIM IN NEVADA
DEAR TORN: No! For each your sakes, please don’t try this. The person you’re writing about deserves somebody who’s extra centered on internal qualities than you appear able to. Forcing your self to love him shouldn’t be vital. As a result of this bothers you a lot, do each of yourselves a favor and let him go.
DEAR ABBY: Years in the past, my partner’s pal “Valerie” invited us to lunch. I had by no means met her, however had earlier contact together with her by way of electronic mail. Valerie clearly didn’t like me. We sat over lunch for 4 hours, and through that point, though she sat throughout from me, she by no means checked out me, by no means spoke to me and by no means acknowledged my presence. It was humiliating and dehumanizing. Since we reside in a distinct state, it was clear to me we might not be assembly once more.
Nicely, Valerie has now renewed contact with my partner by way of letters and emails, re-establishing outdated ties. I’ve requested her to not let Valerie again into our lives. I’m upset that she has accepted contact after how Valerie handled me. My partner hasn’t addressed Valerie’s habits, and on the time of the incident, I used to be requested to simply let it go, which I did.
Now that Valerie has resurfaced, contacting solely my partner and addressing playing cards solely to my partner, it’s clear the “recreation is on” as soon as once more. My partner has not supported my emotions and refuses to acknowledge Valerie’s rudeness throughout that luncheon go to.
I don’t need to be mates with this particular person. My partner has made clear she intends to stay in touch with this particular person and isn’t going to carry up “outdated dust” together with her. Am I incorrect for asking her to forgo this friendship and never let this particular person again into our lives? — UNACKNOWLEDGED IN OREGON
DEAR UNACKNOWLEDGED: No, you aren’t incorrect. Ask your partner why she is nurturing a relationship with Valerie and, if she wish to finish your relationship, to please say so now since you really feel threatened by what Valerie is doing. It’s trustworthy, and in case your fears are true, it’s higher to know now.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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