Can I ask you all a query? And that query is: What are you all speaking about? Hahahahaha, that is just a bit topical Survivor humor for you. BAM! Popping out of the gate scorching! Properly, I will inform you what I am speaking about. I am speaking about Jem… or Jungle Jem, in case you’re nasty. Final week, I posited that Jem was really outrageous — really, really, really outrageous. One thing I’m greater than certain Jem has by no means heard in her whole life. (Shout out for originality!) She had discovered a Beware Benefit and positioned the observe in one other space so her tribe mates spent hours upon ineffective hours digging for a bonus that was not there. Hilarious! Properly performed!
Even higher than that, Jem didn’t let anybody in on her secret. She didn’t break the cardinal rule of Survivor that just about everybody goes and breaks anyway — don’t inform others about your idol or benefit. I wouldn’t say she was the very best liar. Whereas she might not have been laughing whereas fibbing — often a reasonably useless giveaway — she did typically have a supremely goofy grin connected to her face whereas as much as Survivor shenanigans. However once more, props for mendacity within the first place.
So why is Jem now laughing at herself on digital camera for being voted out with an immunity idol in her pocket? As a result of as stealthy because the worldwide model mentor might have been along with her benefit, her makes an attempt in attempting to persuade Ben and Tim that she actually, actually wished to know who they have been voting for as a result of she was completely on their aspect have been about as plausible as me exhibiting up as New Jersey’s consultant for the 2024 World’s Strongest Man Competitors.
That was the least credible efficiency I’ve seen since Sofia Coppola within the Godfather III. Did Jem working Tim and Ben so onerous — with a machete in her hand! — play any consider Maria and Charlie deciding to aspect with the lads as a substitute of the ladies as soon as phrase bought again to them how onerous she was going? Beats me, however they have been so emphatic about getting Jem out that Maria even used her further vote to take action despite the fact that they already had a 3-2 majority with out it. Day-yum! In my world, that’s going ALL CAPS IN BOLD AND ITALICS WITH THREE EXCLAMATION POINTS AT THE END!!! And that’s as a result of my world is the world of people that by no means in 1,000,000 years would even contemplate risking it for the biscuit on the island and as a substitute are completely content material to criticize from the climate-controlled consolation of the sofa whereas navigating our personal brutally taxing challenges like making an attempt to not spill low-cost bear on a laptop computer whereas typing. The battle is actual, individuals!
However what a savage transfer by Maria. From the highest rope! The father or mother coach both wished to ditch that further vote the identical means the Chicago Bears ditched Justin Fields as a result of she felt it made her an even bigger menace to have a bonus heading into the merge, didn’t absolutely belief the plan, or simply wished to drop the proverbial hammer on the individual that made all of them dig for hours for no purpose. Regardless of the rationale, her further vote — which might doubtlessly have been a precious software heading into the merge is now burned, not not like Jem’s sport.
Okay, let’s get into what else what went down this week on episode 5 of Survivor 46.
Q Burdette on ‘Survivor 46’.
Robert Voets/CBS
What to imagine when
“We’re the tiniest tribe there was ever was,” Kenzie mentioned after verbally voting out Bhanu at Tribal Council… reminding me I have to introduce Kenzie to my good buddy Stephenie Lagrossa-Kendrick and somewhat factor referred to as Survivor: Palau. However props to Yanu for making all of it the way in which to day 11 with out fireplace. Sure, true, giving a tribe props for coming in final in 4 straight immunity challenges isn’t actually the way in which I love to do issues round these elements, however, hey, they persevered. And haven’t even as soon as talked about quitting!
[Cue abrasive record scratch noise.]
Sooooooo, I don’t fairly know what to make of this scene between Kenzie and Q. Apparently not glad with my props, Kenzie determined to present props to… herself! “We’ve fought so onerous, and I don’t see both of us stopping anytime quickly,” she instructed Q, to which he replied, “I would.” When pressed if he actually meant that, Q confirmed and appeared to go full Lulu, including “It’s not giving up, it’s accepting it.”
One other quitter? Actually? However then Q instantly pulled a 180 in an interview clip, explaining that he was simply attempting to get Kenzie to really feel comfy so she wouldn’t play her Shot within the Darkish and that “It’s tempting to surrender and go dwelling, however I might by no means do this.”
So what ought to we imagine? One thing that’s straightforward to neglect whereas watching Survivor however is tremendous vital to recollect is you can’t at all times imagine what you hear in confessional interviews. Simply because Q says after the truth that he didn’t imply he was able to stop when he mentioned it doesn’t imply he didn’t imply it. Usually individuals use their confessional interviews to justify their actions round camp after the very fact, or make it seem to be one thing questionable they did round their tribe mates was truly a part of some elaborate covert technique as a type of explaining away habits or feedback… when it was actually precisely because it appeared on the floor.
I’m not saying that was the case right here with Q. However I additionally actually don’t get how a man who was a big-time faculty soccer participant and prides himself on shelling out motivational speeches and being the chief and coach of the tribe would resolve it to be a good suggestion as a method to inform one in every of his tribe mates that perhaps they need to simply quit and stop. Appears odd, no? I’ll give Q the advantage of the doubt on this one, but it surely’s a superb reminder to viewers in any case to not at all times imagine every little thing you hear.
Charlie Davis, Jem Hussain-Adams, and Maria Gonzalez on ‘Survivor 46’.
Robert Voets/CBS
The dust on Siga
Within the identify of Bruce Kanegai, what’s going on with Tim on Siga? Dude has not pooped in 10 days and nonetheless feels “good”? How is that even doable? Or perhaps he simply thinks he’s doing okay, and is affected by different cognitive signs. I imply, the man was having full-on conversations with an immunity idol, and even gave him the identify of “Tiki Man” — which begs the query as as to if this explicit immunity idol has a number of character dysfunction since he additionally seems to go by the identify of Frodo.
This was a bizarre episode throughout for Flock of Siga. Tim’s not pooping, Moriah is nervous Jeff Probst thinks all of them poop collectively within the water after which splash fecal matter throughout one another, Maria has changed into Carrie Ann Inaba and is giving dance classes on the seashore, and Ben is doing dramatic readings from the Mötley Crüe biography. Talking of which, there’s a little Survivor historical past behind that e-book.
I truly learn The Filth once I was on location for Survivor: Prepare dinner Islands. I used to be obsessed, and instructed problem producer John Kirhoffer he wanted to right away stop his job and begin studying. After cautious consideration, he declined to stop his job, however he did learn the e-book and in addition grew to become obsessed. In spite of everything, when there’s a passage centered on Ozzy Osbourne getting down on the bottom and snorting up a line of ants, that’s fairly powerful to beat. Anyway, I’ve little-to-zero doubt that Ben is Kirhoffer’s favourite Survivor participant ever.
After all, all of the drama centered round which aspect Charlie and Maria have been actually on, however we’ll get to that somewhat bit later.
Hunter McKnight on ‘Survivor 46’.
Robert Voets/CBS
Idol looking with Hunter
Yeah, Hunter discovered the Beware Benefit as a result of is there something Hunter cannot do? Truly… sure. Sure, there’s. However we’ll additionally get to that somewhat bit later. However apart from Hunter discovering a bonus to a clue that he doesn’t even have to lose an immunity problem to obtain because of the upcoming merge, the one factor notable to come back out of the Nami camp this week was simply extra affirmation that it’s Venus versus the world on that seashore.
The enhancing was fairly masterful as we noticed everybody however Venus trying to find an idol, after which as quickly as Soda talked about not wanting it to fall into the mistaken palms, we bought a brilliant dramatic musical cue and a giant shot of Venus, as if Thanos himself had simply teleported to the Nami seashore and was on the cusp of snapping his fingers.
What adopted was a brilliant uncomfortable dialog between Hunter and Venus, the place she instructed him that everybody would need him out on the merge for being such a giant menace — everybody apart from her, in fact. Hunter purchased this about as a lot as individuals purchased New Coke when it got here out again within the Eighties, and his response was just about the identical response of those that did purchase New Coke — wanting to right away spit it out.
However you understand what? Venus turns into a really fascinating participant subsequent when the merge occurs and potential free brokers are wooed by different tribes.
Kenzie Petty, Q Burdette, and Tiffany Nicole Ervin on ‘Survivor 46’.
Robert Voets/CBS
Higher late than by no means
Man, this problem appeared like a great deal of enjoyable as gamers bought to scramble by means of a three-level impediment course and finally hit targets with sand baggage. Too dangerous half of Siga needed to sit out and watch. As a result of all of us knew Nami would win, it actually got here down as to if Yanu might set a document with probably the most immunity loses within the new period or by some means, someway beat out Siga.
It was a seesaw battle as Yanu would intermittently look fully out of it… solely to stage a exceptional comeback… solely to present all of it away… solely to then come again once more. Kenzie started by showing to run in sluggish movement by means of the impediment course, placing her group in a gap. However then Q handed Siga whereas getting the important thing, solely to then take roughly the identical period of time unraveling his rope because it takes me to recap a complete season of Survivor, placing Yanu means again in final place once more. Clearly going for the document!
However the man who might or might not have been on the precipice of quitting the sport had they misplaced once more pulled it out ultimately, resulting in a jubilant group hug that ended with Kenzie and Tiffany falling down on the bottom and Q kind of hovering over them awkwardly questioning whether or not it was applicable to leap on high of two girls laying down. (Observe: He selected correctly.) As joyful as Yanu was, I feel viewers have been much more ecstatic lastly attending to see one other tribe go to Tribal Council.
Hunter McKnight on ‘Survivor 46’.
Robert Voets/CBS
Emblem my Eggo
You all know I’ve by no means been huge fan of the Journeys, however let me simply say that we have been fully robbed of what would have been the very best Journey scene in historical past this week. Are you able to think about how superb it might have been to observe Q try and put 20 Survivor season logos in right chronological order? Truly, scratch that. They need to have flown Chris Noble again to the island and requested him to do it. I might wager you each single cent in my checking account — granted, not that many cents — that the Noble One doesn’t even have any thought in anyway what his personal season of Ghost Island was. 2? 19? 45? The man has no clue, and I like it.
Anyway, Hunter was chosen by the others to threat his vote for a bonus, and contemplating the dude has a complete Survivor problem and artwork division in his front room, I figured it was a shoo-in. However no! He wasn’t even shut! Am I the one dork on the market who might have completed this in his sleep? (Don’t reply that.) Anyway, whereas watching Hunter lose his second vote of the episode, all I might take into consideration is how humorous it might have been if he solely needed to put six seasons so as and it was the logos for Survivor 41 by means of Survivor 46. One other missed alternative for comedy gold.
After all, probably the most notable factor about this complete Journey was Q, Tim, and Hunter speaking about how they might be weak as bodily threats on the merge so ought to every choose one other ally to make a secret cross-alliance of six. Possibly I’m mistaken about being such a Adverse Nancy Journey-hater, as a result of that is fairly fascinating irrespective of how this pseudo-alliance performs out. If the pairs (which additionally embrace, unbeknownst to them, Tiffany, Maria, and Tevin) truly pan out and work collectively, that might be one thing we now have by no means seen earlier than. And if it doesn’t — and a few pairs finally find yourself deciding to remain tribe sturdy as a substitute — then that’s fascinating as nicely. Additionally, Tim selecting Maria as a substitute of Ben? And when Maria’s journey or die is definitely Charlie? Whoopsie!
Jem Hussain-Adams on ‘Survivor 46’.
Robert Voets/CBS
A real Jem (of a blindside)
We’ve already congratulated Jem on preserving her idol a secret, and bashed her for approaching too sturdy to individuals she was clearly not aligned with. In the long run, all of it averages out, I suppose. I’ll say this: I cannot fault her within the least for getting voted out with an idol in her pocket. I by no means perceive why followers name individuals dumb for getting voted out with an idol — particularly one which no person even knew she had. You play an idol and don’t want it, individuals name you dumb. You don’t play an idol and get voted out, individuals name you dumb. It’s all calculated threat, and no person in the complete tribe had any clue concerning the Maria and Charlie duo pulling the strings. Talking of which…
We by no means actually bought to see why Charlie and Maria finally sided with the fellas as a substitute of the women and despatched Jem packing. I get that producers wished to maintain the vote a thriller till the final second so couldn’t drop extra intel, however I hope subsequent week we get an accounting from the dynamic duo as to why. I additionally hope we finally study if the Siga six all went and bought their matching tribe tattoos. I can solely assume all of them say “charisma rock and roll defend” throughout the perimeter of, like, a large Captain America defend or some nonsense like that.
Additionally, BREAKING NEWS! Probst won’t ever, ever, ever retire from Survivor. Season 50 is not going to be his final. He mentioned it proper right here on the present, telling Jem “I’m right here, without end.” Hey, Pat Sajak clocked 43 years internet hosting Wheel of Fortune. Probst simply wants 19 years to beat that. Anybody actually wish to wager towards it at this level? I imply, the season might solely be, like, 13 days lengthy at that time so it’s not fully out of the query.
What’s out of the query is me losing any extra of your time, however earlier than you go, I’ll suggest you take a look at the complete Survivor 46 solid speaking concerning the twists they didn’t wish to see on their season, one in every of which occurred proper on day 2. Additionally be sure to take pleasure in our unique deleted scene from this week’s episode in addition to the Hostmaster Common’s tackle what went down. And we’ll have an exit interview with Jungle Jem, so be sure to take that in as nicely. In the meantime, I’m off to arrange subsequent week’s scoop of the crispy.
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