Let’s Replace the Each day Kos Ukraine Reduction Tote Board
It’s been just a few weeks since we checked in on the fund arrange to assist aid companies in Ukraine. Looks as if the blink of a watch right here, however each day over there’s a lengthy, chilly, harmful, unpredictable slog. Though some say it’s technically spring (Can somebody verify that for me? I reside in Maine.) the necessity for primary survival necessities continues to be essential, thus the rationale why Each day Kos arrange this fund. Since mid-March you added greater than $30,000 for the chosen organizations that present meals, medical care, housing, schooling, monetary support, and animal rescue assets. The brand new whole…
$3,704,280.98
…and you must give yourselves a hand for that. To help the chosen teams—the World Central Kitchen, AmeriCares, Razom for Ukraine, and the Worldwide Fund for Animal Welfare—click on right here and donate by way of ActBlue. Thanks on your ongoing help. And likewise on your ongoing center fingers to Russia.
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, April 2, 2024
Notice: FREE GYROCOPTER RIDES ALL DAY!!!!
Disclaimer: Should carry personal gyrocopter and supply free rides all day.
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By the Numbers:
10 days!!!
Days ’til the 2024 Olympics in Paris: 115
Days ’til the 87th annual Atlanta Dogwood Pageant: 10
New minimal wage for fast-food employees in California that kicked in yesterday: $20/hr.
Variety of fast-food employees in California: 500,000
Estimated variety of American bridges which are in poor situation, in response to ABC Information: 42,400
Age of Gmail as of this month: 20
Age of Gloria Steinem as of final week: 90
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Pet Pic of the Day: Sitting lesson…
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JEERS to fundraising insanity. I do know candidates should ship out money-beg emails, however I positive want they may work out a technique to do it extra creatively. Exhibit A: the Biden-Harris marketing campaign—the one one I have never unsubscribed to as a result of I need to maintain tabs on their on-line advertising efforts. Listed here are their current subject-line messages, which I may most likely recite from reminiscence from varied political campaigns from twenty years in the past:
Lacking your signature, William … Should you knew this, would not you chip in? … Our apologies … Our sincerest apologies … President Biden personally reached out … Not nice … You deserve a proof … Unique alternative enclosed for William … Is there ANYTHING we will say to persuade you, William? … Please give us an opportunity to elucidate … We’d like you, particularly at the moment … Here is the deal, William … Yet another donation earlier than the tip of the month … Pummeled (we’re frightened) … LAST name: we’re so shut … That is the FINAL name!
And so forth (and so forth). Each candidate. Each marketing campaign. Each advocacy group. Each PAC. Identical factor. All stuffing our in-boxes with cookie-cutter messages that careen from irrational exuberance to pulse-pounding desperation. It is sufficient to drive you loopy. However not me—I handed that threshold a very long time in the past.
JEERS to at the moment’s version of That is The Least Stunning Factor I’ve Heard All Day. Courtesy of CBS Information:
A lead U.S. navy investigator inspecting stories of what has change into generally known as Havana Syndrome informed 60 Minutes he believes U.S. officers are being attacked by Russia …
A 2023 authorities report deemed it “not possible” {that a} overseas adversary was behind the mysterious mind accidents suffered by U.S. nationwide safety officers, but greater than 100 People have signs scientists say may very well be attributable to a beam of microwaves or acoustic ultrasound. Victims are annoyed that the federal government publicly doubts an adversary is focusing on People. The continuing, five-year 60 Minutes investigation has now uncovered new proof pointing towards Russia.
This has been at the moment’s version of That is The Least Stunning Factor I’ve Heard All Day.
CHEERS to Charles Corridor. He patented aluminum 135 years in the past at the moment. And made the world secure for paranoids in every single place:
An Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie (AFDB) is a sort of headwear that may defend your mind from most electromagnetic psychotronic thoughts management carriers.
It’s simply science, folks. It’s. Simply. Science.
AFDBs are cheap (even free in case you do not thoughts scrounging for thrown-out aluminium foil) and could be constructed by anybody with not less than the dexterity of a chimp (possibly bonobo). This low cost and unobtrusive type of thoughts management safety gives actual safety to the plenty. Not solely do they shield in opposition to incoming alerts, however in addition they block most types of mind scanning and thoughts studying, retaining the secrets and techniques in your head really secret. AFDBs are secure and function routinely. All you do is make it and put on it and also you’re good to go! Plus, AFDBs are fashionable and cozy.
Keep in mind, bunker dwellers: shiny aspect out!
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to retaining the religion (to your self). The downward spiral of participation in organized faith continues in America, as a mix of church leaders behaving badly, outdated dogma (insert “received run over by my karma” joke right here), and unwashed rabble with extra essential issues to do result in empty pews and dwindling coffers. And Gallup’s newest report is, properly, holy moly, Batman…
Fifty years in the past, in 1973, 87% of U.S. adults recognized with a Christian faith, 6% had been non-Christian or one other faith, and 5% didn’t have a non secular desire. Thus, a lot of the change within the U.S. has been a shift away from Christian religions to no faith in any respect. […]
“Jesus, can I see you in my workplace please?” —Offended God, after seeing this chart
Though most People have a non secular desire and say faith is not less than pretty essential to them, a lot smaller proportions recurrently attend spiritual companies.
Requested whether or not they personally had attended church, synagogue, mosque or temple previously seven days, a mean of 32% of U.S. adults in 2023 reported they’d accomplished so, both in individual or nearly. In 2000, 44% had gone to church previously seven days, and in 1958, 49% had.
Golly. I am frightened. If the bajillion completely different gods humankind has give you over the millennia to scare humanity into unquestioning obedience ever determine which considered one of them would be the one to smite us for going rogue like this, we’re in large hassle.
P.S. You might have a speck in your eye! Ha Ha have a look at that speck! I mock you and your eye speck! Sincerely, Log Man.
CHEERS to large balls, little balls, balls balls balls! After a wild March of ups and downs and smiles and frowns—to not point out a highway affected by busted brackets—your NCAA Fabulous 4 girls’s matchups are: South Carolina vs. NC State and Iowa vs. UConn.
God assist any of you children who run “afoul” of referee McGillicutty’s eagle eyes.
Not many individuals know this, however I attempted to compete on the basketball court docket at school. Didn’t work out. Coach stated I didn’t have what it takes. (Like, say, top.) So that you would possibly say my hoops had been dashed.
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Ten years in the past in C&J: April 2, 2014
CHEERS to dancing within the Isles. Large doings in over in England and Wales. Louisa Peacock on the Telegraph paperwork the chaos of the previous few days:
Properly people, we had the warmest weekend of the yr to this point and—AND—the primary homosexual weddings in Britain happened.
We did not have any floods … Ukip, I am taking a look at you. Ukip councillor David Silvester lately instructed that the Authorities’s resolution to legalise homosexual marriage had led to the disastrous current storms and heavy floods throughout the UK. Properly—shock! Horror! WE ALL SURVIVED.
We’re sending all of the completely satisfied couplers the normal British wedding-day reward: a Benny Hill tea cozy.
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And only one extra…
CHEERS to nighttime sparklies. Now I do know why our moon and all of the planets and stars within the galaxy apply secure social distancing from us: we’re loopy!!! However that may’t cease the universe’s most obnoxious parasites—that might be us—from gazing up and marveling in any respect the conquering now we have but to do. The elves at NASA all the time allow us to in on the massive celestial occasions for the month, and right here’s a have a look at April’s sky-watching ideas, together with particulars on subsequent week’s eclipse and a comet dropping by to say howdy:
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And don’t neglect to go exterior, consider Neil Armstrong, and wink on the full moon on the twenty third. It is the regulation.
Have a tolerable Tuesday. Flooring’s open…What are you cheering and jeering about at the moment?
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As we speak’s Shameless C&J Testimonial
“The iconography of Cheers and Jeers as a spot of freedom and boldness, these concepts have positively been a part of Beyonce’s ongoing star picture.”
—Francesca Royster
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