That’s a whoopsie.
Photograph: Theo Whiteman/HBO
The Home of the Dragon Scorecard is an accounting of the occasions of this week’s episode, by which factors are awarded to characters on a scale of 0 to 10. Factors will likely be awarded for any or no cause.
It took virtually 4 hours and a number of flubbed land-based homicide schemes, however now we have a dragon battle. A number of dragon fights. Lastly. I forgot how a lot enjoyable these are to observe, even when the outcomes are a combined bag of satisfaction. It was unavoidable, actually. After final week’s revelation in regards to the Aegon miscommunication and the belief that the occasions that passed off in its aftermath have been irreversible, there was nowhere to go however the skies. And Criston positive is dumb about all of it. I do know. You’re shocked.
The query right here, for me, is that this: Did Aemond truly set a fratricide in movement by goading Aegon right into a battle he was by no means going to win? It looks like a stretch, however the one folks he’d must idiot to tug it off are Aegon and Criston, and a fairly clever horse might promote these two a used automobile. Or was it extra against the law of alternative? Did he see Aegon within the sky and determine he’d by no means get a greater shot? Was final week’s humiliation in entrance of Sylvi the ultimate straw? I suppose that’s 4 questions, technically. Don’t fear, I’ve extra.
Elsewhere within the realm: Daemon is having visions once more and goes to be so, so mad when he learns he missed a dragon battle; Alicent mopes round and pukes; and now we have an Alyn-based thriller on our fingers. I do know, I ought to have talked about Rhaenys by now. I’ll. I promise. I’m too unhappy to speak about it within the intro. Anyway …
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It’s dragon time, child.
Rhaenrya is making an attempt. She is actually making an attempt. That’s greater than you may say for a lot of the cretins on this present. She risked her life to go undercover and sneak into enemy territory to speak to Alicent. She tried for peace. She preached endurance to the bloodthirsty council who talks right down to her. She held again longer than anybody else would.
Even this week, proper after studying that she would have been queen if not for an opiate-riddled match of disjointed deathbed storytelling, she pulls her surviving son apart to show him a historical past lesson as an alternative of sending each dragon she will be able to wrangle into the sky in a match of justified rage. Daemon would have carried out that. Daemon would have carried out that within the season premiere, if not a lot, a lot earlier.
I fear about Rhaenyra. Issues don’t finish effectively for the peacemakers round these components. At the least Criston known as her “the Whore of Dragonstone.” He meant it as an insult, positive, however it’s nonetheless a reasonably righteous nickname, in addition to a fantastic identify for a heavy-metal album from 1988.
Alicent has been having the worst day of her life just about each single day of this season. She’s depressing on this episode, too, ingesting contraceptive tea and getting sick from it, ripping open each bookshelf within the kingdom to research the stuff Rhaenyra dropped on her about Viserys and his tales, coping with Larys snooping round, all of it.
And she or he hasn’t even discovered the next but:• Her evil son and her dumb boyfriend have been conspiring behind everybody’s again to stage a booby-trap dragon showdown.• Her fool son obtained drunk and unhappy after she informed him what a loser he’s and flew off into battle on a dragon.• The evil son used his dragon to roast the fool son on function, and now the fool son is both useless or horribly injured and the evil son is extra highly effective than ever.
She ought to ask the maester if there’s a tea for this, too.
Rhaenys and her dragon get demolished within the sky by Aemond and his dragon on the finish of this episode. This made me unhappy. Rhaenys was cool, all bravery and snark and dignity within the face of … effectively, all the pieces that has ever occurred on this present. It’s a bummer that she’s killed by freaking Aemond, too. That man sucks. Rhaenys was one of many few characters on this present who deserves higher.
Which is, most likely, why she needed to die right here. There simply usually are not many sympathetic folks on this present, or at the very least folks whose demise would make you’re feeling issues. The present doesn’t let likable characters stick round too lengthy, as a rule, which is why I’d been nervous about this sort of factor occurring sooner quite than later. Rhaenys simply obtained off too many good traces and did too many noble issues, like sending herself into battle rather than Rhaenrya. I ought to have recognized she was a goner as quickly as that occurred.
I hope she begins haunting Daemon in his visions subsequent.
Say what you’ll about Aemond (devious little weasel, killed Lucerys due to dragon-based incompetence, type of stole the dragon he now makes use of to enact revenge over each actual and perceived slight, indignant on the world in methods normally reserved for individuals who wish to kill Batman, making an attempt to do secret conspiracies with Criston Cole of all of the rattling folks on the earth, principally Daemon with an eyepatch, looks like the type of man who would reduce in entrance of you at a breakfast buffet and take one chew out of the final sausage hyperlink within the tray whereas wanting immediately at you, and so on.), however roasting his fool brother with the flames of his dragon does signify the primary fairly profitable try at an assassination by any character on this present within the first half of the second season.
So he will get one level.
Okay, two potentialities right here …
1) Aegon is useless. He was unhappy about his brother and mom telling him how silly he’s and the way nobody on the council respects him and so he threw somewhat tantrum and flew headlong right into a massively silly place the place the brother who hates him — or anybody else, actually! — might torch him out of the sky. Simply traditional petulant loser conduct, however with a dragon.
2) Identical as all the pieces within the first level however he survives with huge accidents. God, think about how a lot worse he’ll be then. The whining will likely be incessant. I suppose you do deserve some stage of grievance after your evil brother tries to show you into a bit of brat jerky. Even then, it’s robust to really feel sympathy for him.
I lean towards the second, for now, if solely as a result of folks on this present are hardly ever useless except now we have irrefutable proof. (Headless physique, insides revealed to be ash, and so on.) However I don’t know. It’s cleaner if he’s useless as a result of Aemond and Criston can say Rhaenys did it and wring extra sympathy out of the plenty. If he lives, it’s gonna be an entire factor. We’ll add a fraternal battle to the already effervescent and complicated inter- and intra-family chaos.
What I’m saying, I believe, is that this: Dying after getting flambéed midair by your eyepatch-wearing brother’s dragon and falling lots of of toes to the bottom by some means feels too handy for a present that delights in making a large number.
THERAPIST: How have issues been going since our final go to?
DAEMON: Nicely, I’m having visions of my present spouse as a young person the place she belittles me and I chop her head off with a sword after which the disembodied head continues to belittle me.
THERAPIST: Nicely, th—
DAEMON: And I’m having visions of my useless ex-wife — you bear in mind, the one who dedicated suicide by dragon? — pouring drinks for me.
THERAPIST: Wait, wh—
DAEMON: Oh, and I additionally had a imaginative and prescient of my diabolical eyepatch-wearing nephew, however when he rotated it was me sporting the eyepatch.
THERAPIST: Okay, let’s st—
DAEMON: I do have some progress to report from our final session, although.
THERAPIST: We should always circle again to the visions sooner or later. However sure, let’s open with the excellent news.
DAEMON: Keep in mind the way you informed me I wanted to work on my belief points after I turned down a scrumptious free meal as a result of I used to be paranoid about being poisoned?
THERAPIST: Sure.
DAEMON: Nicely, I met a spooky witch who licks blood off of her fingers and I drank from a goblet she handed me with out even asking what was in it!
THERAPIST: [sighs, pinches bridge of nose] Let’s return to the visions.
I really feel like I don’t want to clarify this.
I do know he was largely simply fishing for data after seeing the maester’s mug and noticing Alicent’s sudden curiosity in historical past books, however it’s actually humorous to be like, “Hey, you appear off these days. All the pieces okay?” to a girl whose grandson was simply decapitated by assassins and whose father was simply fired by her fool son and who simply needed to experience by means of city together with her daughter in a rickety cart as they grieved the aforementioned beheaded toddler. And that’s simply the stuff everybody is aware of! That’s not even including within the secrets and techniques about her affair with Criston or her assembly with Rhaenyra, which Larys most likely is aware of or will determine quickly sufficient
Once more, he’s simply suspicious and fishing as a result of that’s what Larys does, however I did giggle on the approach he went about it. Yeah, dude. Possibly she’s somewhat off.
ON ONE HAND: Ser Alfred does type of have a degree. She might have simply cooked Criston Cole and his goon squadron when she swooped down on her dragon final week. I mentioned as a lot on this very scorecard.
ON THE OTHER HAND: It’s good to know that Baela will hold alive the sturdy custom of ladies roasting the hell out of pushy dudes on the council.
Talking of individuals roasting Alfred …
Corlys has points now we have already mentioned and can focus on additional, however the half the place he strolls in and shuts down Alfred mid-sentence in help of his household was a pleasant little second.
Jacaerys has accrued a large variety of factors on this Scorecard just by being a candy boy with an cute mop of hair. All he needed to do was be good and quiet and hold brushing these lovely locks of his and never be somewhat twerp who talks again and whines like each different royal teen on this present.
However noooooooooo.
Dammit.
I’m not indignant. I swear I’m not indignant. I’m simply … disillusioned.
Helaena doesn’t even do something on this episode. I’m giving her three factors anyway as a result of:
• She has been by means of loads• If Aegon is useless, she’ll undergo extra• If Aegon is alive, he’s going to be soooooooooooo unbearable and she or he’s going to be caught listening to all of it
Poor Helaena.
I like that Mysaria very actually lurks within the shadows this week. There may be sufficient studying between the traces on this present. We’re going to do extra of it within the subsequent part. Typically it’s good to be straight-up bashed within the head with a hammer. Metaphorically, I imply. Please don’t bash me within the head with a hammer. Or wherever else, actually. I can not stress this level in sturdy sufficient phrases: No bashing Brian with a hammer. Thanks.
Corlys is Alyn’s father, sure? Is that what we’re getting at right here? With Rhaenys telling Corlys that she is aware of who Alyn is and that Alyn doesn’t should be hidden away? And that face she makes whereas she’s saying this? And the factor the place she tells Alyn that his mom should have been very lovely, which is … a definitely good however extraordinarily bizarre factor to say to somebody you simply met if there’s no subtext?!
I will likely be mad at Corlys if this seems to be true. Possibly I’m simply nonetheless unhappy about Rhaenys. Both approach, that is why he solely obtained two factors this week. Actions have penalties, Corlys.
Jaecerys being a whiny snot threw me somewhat, so it was good that the present launched a brand new scruffy little sweetheart pushover to cushion the blow. I’ve no clue if we’ll see him once more. Possibly we are going to. However he’ll all the time have these seven factors if not.
All we’ve seen Simon do that season is bumble round a leaky fort and eat dinner. He’s essentially the most relatable character on this present. It’s not even shut, actually.
Gwayne remains to be a largely unlikable dweeb, however:
• He stays skeptical of Criston’s management talents and basic intelligence, which is deserved.• The opposite day, the phrase “Fountains of Gwayne” popped into my head and made me giggle at my desk.
Simply hanging out and being creepy and making potions to present to nefarious blonde guests. An ideal tv character.
• Rhaenys Targaryen: 32.5• Mysaria: 28• Rhaenyra Targaryen: 23• Jacaerys Velaryon: 23• Baela Targaryen: 22• Larys Robust: 22• Corlys Velaryon: 20• Helaena Targaryen: 18• Sylvi: 18• Alicent Hightower: 17• Hugh the Scorpion Maker: 16• The Ratcatcher’s Canine: 15• Alyn: 15• Simon Robust: 12• Alys the Witch: 8• Oscar Tully: 7• Erryk Cargyll: 6• Arryk Cargyll: 6• Ulf: 6• Aegon Targaryen: 4• Otto Hightower: 4• Aemond Targaryen: 4• Gwayne Hightower: 4• Rhaena Targaryen: 3• Numerous Ratcatcher Assassins: 0• Daemon Targaryen: 0• Criston Cole: -491
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