The Home of the Dragon Scorecard is an accounting of the occasions of this week’s episode by which factors are awarded to characters and dragons on a scale of 0 to 10. Factors shall be awarded for any or no cause.
It took three episodes and two of the worst homicide plots you’ve ever seen, however Rhaenyra and Alicent are lastly speaking once more. Type of. It’s extra whispering than speaking, seeing as one in every of them is undercover and holding a knife. However nonetheless, this counts as progress. Or quite, it may need counted as progress if the dialog moved something nearer to peace as an alternative of unveiling that the battle everyone seems to be hellbent on preventing is the irreversible results of a drug-addled previous man not telling a narrative nicely. Whoops?
Elsewhere within the realm: Daemon goes to Harrenhal and refuses to eat; Criston stays horrible at nearly the whole lot aside from sleeping along with his boss’s mom; and Mysaria continues to rise in each Rhaenyra’s courtroom and our season totals.
Let’s tally up some scores.
Photos have a manner of sticking with you longer than phrases, and I think the look on Rhaenyra’s face when she realizes precisely how, and why, she misplaced her spot on the throne shall be burned into my mind for some time. Simply the look in her eyes, actually, as she learns what we already knew, that the entire thing boils all the way down to a miscommunication between her opiate-riddled dying father and her former greatest buddy. Not a plot. Not a long-developing scheme. Simply an previous man telling a narrative for the 800th time and somebody decoding it mistaken. If Viserys and Alicent had named their son, say, Larry, there would’ve been no Aegon confusion and Rhaenyra could be the queen proper now. I doubt this makes Rhaenyra really feel any higher about it.
It most likely makes her really feel worse, truly. Not less than with a plot or a scheme there are dangerous actors guilty, evildoers to curse, enemies to get revenge on. One thing this silly is simply flabbergasting, like when you ready all week for an enormous job interview and a hen pooped on the windshield of a automotive in entrance of you and the driving force rear-ended another person and also you ended up caught in visitors for 45 minutes and the job went to the less-qualified one that was alleged to interview after you. I might be livid about this without end.
What I’m saying is that between this and the warmongering council that talks to her like she’s a toddler, she deserves an episode or two the place she simply flies round on her dragon to clear her head.
We might go loads of methods with this part. We might focus on Alicent additionally having a council full of warmongering goofs. We might focus on the raven she despatched to Rhaenyra. We might, as all the time, focus on her fool sons and boyfriend bumbling in regards to the kingdom. However I wish to discuss safety.
Particularly, I wish to speak in regards to the factor the place battle is on the horizon and her grandson was simply decapitated in his personal bed room and her enemy was nearly assassinated in her personal bed room and but, regardless of all of that, the identical enemy — and former buddy — was capable of gown like a nun and sneak throughout the town and get shut sufficient to her that they may have a personal dialog at knifepoint. That is … not superb.
There’s a temptation right here to attribute this to sloppy storytelling, simply the entire oh come on, be critical of all of it. Which I get. However I do ask that you simply think about one other, a lot funnier various: that many characters on this present are a silly as rocks and that’s why these items preserve taking place. However we’ll get to Criston quickly sufficient.
Hey, what’s Daemon as much as? Nicely …
• He lands at Harrenhal and makes a dramatic play of claiming it for Rhaenyra and demanding to be addressed as “Your Grace,” which is met with shrugs by dudes who reside in a dilapidated, moist fort.
• He skips what seems to be like a beautiful meal as a result of he thinks somebody may wish to poison him.
• He’s now having visions the place his spouse is a toddler and stitching the top again onto the toddler that was killed resulting from his bungled plans.
Apart from that, doing nice.
I obtained so excited when this little demon began stomping his toes and performing like he was going to swoop into battle on his dragon. That may have been thrilling. He would have died inside moments, certainly, or at the least gotten knocked off his dragon and hidden underneath a tree in knee-knocking concern till somebody huge and robust rescued him. I might have loved that.
As an alternative, he will get talked out of it and goes to a brothel with some bozos the place he will get drunk and mocks his brother a little bit. Very unsatisfying.
ON ONE HAND: Saves everybody on his little mission by figuring out a break within the clouds and a swooping dragon.
ON THE OTHER HAND: I do know he has different obligations because the Hand now, however I nonetheless really feel it speaks poorly of his command that Rhaenyra obtained that near Alicent, and that Aegon was stumbling round a brothel whipping open curtains that any fairly competent murderer might have been hiding behind with a sword to run by way of the dumb king’s throat.
It’s no small feat to be thought-about probably the most incompetent character on this present however, man, this good-looking goon is making a heck of a run at it.
AEGON: I’m going to battle on my dragon!
LARYS: [sighs, realizes Aegon will surely get murdered and waste weeks of manipulation]
AEGON: I’m imply and difficult!
LARYS: Really, everybody thinks doing this makes you weak. They discuss it so much. They assume you’re a silly little child.
AEGON: I’ve determined to remain.
LARYS: As you want, Your Grace.
That is the second consecutive episode the place the present has tried to make me really feel dangerous for Aemond. Final week, he was curled up in a little bit hairless ball in Sylvi’s lap, moping in regards to the varied indignities which have befallen him. This week, he does the identical unhappy factor however can be interrupted by Aegon and mocked about it in entrance of the brand new Kingsguard bozos. No! Cease! You can’t make me really feel dangerous for him!
Particularly not in an episode the place he’s impolite to Sylvi. Sylvi is cool! I do know he was embarrassed and damage and simply lashing out at anybody who doesn’t have the facility to battle again. I do know he’s a really damaged little boy! However nonetheless, you’ll be able to’t demean and stomp away nude from the one one that listens to your whining on a regular basis! Jesus Christ, Aemond, come on!
Wait. Wait. I understand how I can repair this …
There. That feels higher.
I select to consider there’s a universe the place Baela will get to that discipline 30 seconds earlier, disregards her orders utterly, and simply swoops all the way down to torch Criston Cole and his squadron of dopes and let her dragon eat their stays to do away with all of the proof. Nobody would have recognized. She might have flown dwelling and been like “Nope, by no means noticed them. Bizarre. Anyway …”
I might have cheered out loud.
Oh, you realize, simply your customary mom-daughter dialog about motherhood and mortality and the way typically daughters must forgive their moms for having torrid affairs with the safety element that depart their son unprotected on the evening a ratcatcher and an murderer present as much as behead him. You’ve seen it 100 instances.
Seems Mysaria did tip off the guards to thwart the tried Mum or dad Entice homicide, and he or she makes use of it to barter her manner into Rhaenyra’s internal circle. And he or she instantly makes use of the place to assist Rhaenyra sneak into city to get subsequent to Alicent. Say what you’ll about Mysaria, however the lady is environment friendly. Additionally, don’t say something dangerous about her. I’ll get offended. She is perhaps my favourite character on the present now. I want podcasts existed within the HOTD universe so she might do one which reveals the whole lot she is aware of about everybody. Mysaria could be an incredible influencer.
All Rhaenys ever does on this present is inform the reality and put incompetent dopes of their place. Each time she reveals up, I begin making an attempt to determine which poor sap is about to get cooked. It’s a enjoyable little recreation for me.
Two issues are true right here:
1) Corlys could be very fearful about his line of succession and whether or not any of his ocean-averse descendants will be capable to lead his prodigious fleet of ships going ahead, which is comprehensible.
2) “The Sea Snake” is an extremely cool nickname and I feel we must always attempt to discover a skilled athlete we are able to bestow it upon, whether or not their sport is water-based or not. I’m leaning towards Miami Dolphins quarterback Tua Tagovailoa.
Each value eager about.
One of many foremost variations between me and Rhaena Targaryen is that if somebody pulled me apart and stated, “Hey, resulting from all of the current murders and tried murders and ongoing plots for added murders, we’re going to ship you off to a protected location with some mop-topped little children and child dragons for some time,” I might kiss that individual instantly on the mouth.
I wish to ruffle that stunning head of hair so dangerous.
Just a few notes about Ulf:
• He will get the total GoodFellas tracking-shot entrance as he glad-hands his manner into the brothel, which leads me to the affordable assumption that we’ll be seeing much more of Ulf going ahead.
• He seems to be an enormous drinker who makes grandiose claims like “Really, I’m a secret Targaryen however don’t inform anybody” to whoever will take heed to him, which is a promising growth for me, a viewer who loves messy drunk characters with huge mouths.
• The existence of a personality named “Ulf” is pleasant by itself however even higher while you consider that somebody references a dude whose title is simply “Jason” earlier within the episode, which is a enjoyable reminder that typically folks on this present say issues like, “Greetings, Your Grace. My title is Lexhaedryn the Benevolent and that is my colleague Wally.”
Talking of latest characters with fascinating names …
When do you know Gwayne was going to be a sniveling weasel? Was it when he made that smug (and deserved) face at Criston? Was it when he began speaking about taking an evening off to get drunk along with his buddies? Was it while you realized his title is “Gwayne”?
I’ll inform you after I knew: The moment I noticed his face and realized he’s being performed by Freddie Fox, an actor who might be very good in actual life however who was additionally on Sluggish Horses as a personality named Spider who I hated with the searing warmth of a glowing hibachi.
I’m thrilled to have him on this present.
Simon shouldn’t be impressed with Daemon. He doesn’t appear to be all that excited about something that’s happening within the kingdom, for that matter. He simply needs to eat dinner. I respect this man very a lot.
I select to consider they had been buried in the identical grave as a result of not one of the characters on the present knew which one was which both.
Okay, a correction and clarification are due right here …
In final week’s version of this scorecard, I stated I used to be completely satisfied for the canine as a result of he was now freed from the abusive proprietor who kicked him throughout the homicide scheme that ended with a decapitated youngster. A buddy of mine reached out by way of textual content the subsequent day to tell me that it was the opposite murderer who kicked the canine, not the canine’s rat-catching proprietor, and the look on the canine’s face might have been disappointment as an alternative of aid upon seeing its proprietor hanging from a noose.
My place on that is as follows: I remorse the error however I’m nonetheless completely satisfied for the canine for being freed from the form of proprietor who would drag him right into a scheme that resulted in him being kicked and a toddler getting murdered. Both manner, I’ve awarded the canine a further 5 factors for the confusion. I feel that’s the precise factor to do.
• Jacaerys Velaryon: 23• Mysaria: 23• Rhaenys Targaryen: 22.5• Larys Sturdy: 19• Corlys Velaryon: 18• Sylvi: 18• Rhaenyra Targaryen: 16• Baela Targaryen: 16• Hugh the Scorpion Maker: 16• Helaena Targaryen: 15• The Ratcatcher’s Canine: 15• Alicent Hightower: 14• Alyn: 9• Criston Cole: 9• Simon Sturdy: 8• Erryk Cargyll: 6• Arryk Cargyll: 6• Ulf: 6• Aegon Targaryen: 4• Otto Hightower: 4• Aemond Targaryen: 3• Rhaena Targaryen: 3• Gwayne Hightower: 2• Numerous Ratcatcher Assassins: 0• Daemon Targaryen: 0
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