Come inside my blue and orange thoughts – yeah, that sounds dangerous, however the docs are extra bemused than the rest. You’d assume a mind discoloration would give me some form of superpower or particular intelligence; mine simply makes me take into consideration 2010 Raymond Felton and spontaneously rap components of “We Gonna Make It.”
On the eve of the NBA Draft, our Knicks acquired Mikal Bridges in trade for Bojan Bogdanovic, 4 unprotected and 5 complete first-round picks. Sheesh, I picked a hilarious week to begin running a blog right here at Poasting & Toasting. There will likely be time for measured evaluation of this determination and its many historic implications, and that is for certain not that. Right here, as an alternative, is that this correspondent’s dwell and delirious processing of the Bridges transfer.
9:58 pm, Japanese Customary Time – Adrian Wojnarowski posts on no matter you’re calling Twitter now. I’ll admit, it was kinda cool when our telephones all spawned Timberland summer season chukkas and a lil Kith hat.
- Everybody appeared to get the information immediately – are we actually not watching Beat Shazam on FOX?!
- How is that this actually taking place? Jay Wright will need to have received a wager with Leon Rose or one thing. Do we expect Leon makes use of Fibonacci or Martingale on the baccarat desk? Why does a card recreation have the identical title because the cologne Latto sings about? Do on line casino tables odor good?
- Possibly the Knicks are doing a modern-day staging of some lesser-known Shakespeare play. Possibly God is a 2K franchise mode simmer who went to Villanova. What did she or he main in?
- Will Knicks amenities start accepting Nova Bucks™? Possibly we are able to apply for a custom-made Wildcard by the Chase Bridge. I need mine with the Dipset crest on it.
- The Knicks are going to be so good. That is superb and I’m elated.
- Wait, what number of draft picks?
- Jrue Vacation went for 3 first-rounders and two choose swaps. Mikal Bridges is three years youthful than Jrue was when Milwaukee traded for him, and the Bucks instantly received the title after that transfer. That is chill.
- Didn’t Kevin Durant simply go for 4 unprotected picks? Properly for one factor, if this workforce ever traded for Kevin Durant, I do concern the “HEY KD, DON’T YOU REGRET NOT COMING TO THE KNICKS” man would spontaneously ascend to the next airplane, and I wanna meet that dude earlier than he does that.
- Additionally, the important thing asset from the Durant commerce was Mikal friggin’ Bridges, who we’ve unanimously established as the perfect basketball participant of all time.
- These guys should be going wild on their group chat. Which of the 4 most certainly has the inexperienced textual content bubble? I wager it’s popping in there, like, simply the correct quantity of GIFs and memes.
- Possibly they share Wordle or Immaculate Grid scores each morning. They positively share “Which Intercourse and the Metropolis Character are You” outcomes. Mikal is such a Samantha, proper?!
- The Knicks haven’t traded with the Nets in additional than 4 a long time, once they swapped a second-round choose within the 1983 Draft for backup heart Len Elmore. The choose turned Tom Sluby – a enjoyable title to say out loud and even croon right into a vocoder in your balcony, however by no means an precise participant for the New Jersey Nets. Elmore posted a -0.2 worth over substitute score in a single season with New York.
- Do we expect Sluby is pronounced SLOOB or SLUHHHB?
- It is a signal to do extra stuff along with your school pals. Possibly mine may begin a New Jack Swing group.
- Can we uncut Omari Spellman now?
- Is there a single a part of Brooklyn that Mikal Bridges didn’t get immediately extra in style in? Is Bergen Seashore Nets-pilled like that? Think about the streets saying that Mikal can’t present his face at Smorgasburg anymore.
- Bear in mind when Jay Z stated “the Nets may go 0-82 and [he’d] have a look at you want that sh*t gravy?” I hope Roc Nation sends 100 thousand tons of hen inventory to Sean Marks’ workplace, as a result of the Nets may very well do it with this roster. Is that an excessive amount of hen inventory? Who cares, they could want to make use of it to fill out roster house.
- Will Mikal miss the “signature scent” of the Barclays Heart? How will he adapt to the official odor of MSG, that enchanting fragrance mixture of hen cutlet and zaza smoke?
- What’s Mikal’s worst basketball-reference nickname? Do now we have to name him Noodles? Are we critical with Inspector Go Go Gadget? One of many listed monikers is Brooklyn Bridges, hahahahaha, get that F all the way in which OH.
- A couple of new Knicks-specific solutions: Mikal Bingbong, Thibs’ Dream Woman, Manhattan Bridges, Washington Bridges, Verrazzano Bridges, and so forth. And there are at all times just a few random/nonsensical ones, so let’s go along with The Platypus, Apple Cider Vinegar and Mr. Performs Basketball.