Amy Dickinson Tribune Content material AgencyAsk Amy: Recommendation for the Actual WorldDear Amy: I’ve a considerate, profitable 38-year-old stepdaughter. We now have relationship and revel in one another’s firm. I reside overseas, so I solely see her and her household a couple of times a yr.The problem I’m having is along with her husband, my son-in-law.He’s utterly anti-social and barely acknowledges my presence.He has by no means initiated a dialog, and through household occasions he both absents himself or is current however taking part in video video games on his cellphone.I’ve realized to not take this personally as a result of he treats everybody, together with his family, the identical approach.Relations and pals have tried to know his habits: Is he “on the spectrum,” is it a cultural challenge, (he’s from a distinct nation), or is he simply impolite?A couple of family and friends members have mentioned this with my stepdaughter, and he or she says, “It’s simply the best way he’s.”I will likely be visiting them later this yr and am already apprehensive.Whereas I’m visiting, I discover his habits so disagreeable that I discover excuses to retire early.Is there one other approach for me to know his habits and make peace with it?– CuriousDear Curious: I don’t assume it’s mandatory for you (or me) to attempt to diagnose or assign a class to your son-in-law’s habits so as to make peace with it. “Peace” (or acceptance) is a selection. You say you aren’t taking his habits personally, however you appear to be doing simply that.It’d assist should you noticed him as maybe a shy or introverted one who doesn’t provoke or actively take part in conversations, however is probably listening or witnessing the household dynamic in his personal approach when he’s current.You say that others have broached this challenge along with your stepdaughter, however it may be useful should you spoke along with her – or him – so as to ensure he’s snug with you being a visitor of their dwelling. Ask for any strategies for methods you may join with him.“Tough” individuals lay down a problem and take a look at your tolerance, but additionally current a possibility so that you can develop. And should you can’t develop, you’ll be able to not less than inform your self that so as to keep related along with your stepdaughter, you will want to detach from his habits.You may e-mail Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or ship a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Field 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can even observe her on Twitter @askingamy or Fb.©2024 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content material Company, LLC.Extra from MLive